first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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