Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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