Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.

Fav 13 781 3197
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(785): View more from Kansas

My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?

Fav 9 1303 4234
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(206): View more from Washington

No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.

Fav 9 5037 1540
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(253): View more from Washington

He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".

Fav 12 1086 3247
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve

Fav 3 1185 681
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(240): View more from Maryland

ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday

Fav 1 953 587
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(785): View more from Kansas

Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.

Fav 6 1137 467
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(540): View more from Virginia

Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards

Fav 1 803 431
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(586): View more from Michigan

not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.

Fav 1 82 9
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