ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
