I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
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This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
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I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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