You're my little dorito
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
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I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
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You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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