considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
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I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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