**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
