Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
