There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
