today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
