You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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