Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I need to align my fucking chakras
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
