I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
