hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
