I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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