so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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