well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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