Non-Jews are for practice
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
