i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
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