I murdered the dance floor call the cops
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
