So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
