dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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