i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
