we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
