she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
