Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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