Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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