You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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