they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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