be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize