Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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