where am i from again
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
