Even water is tasting like jack daniels
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
