I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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