Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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