1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
