Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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