the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
