I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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