I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
