i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
