I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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