Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize