if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
