i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
