you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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