The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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