Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
