It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Randomize