Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
