Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
