Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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