i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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