YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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