My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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