yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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