I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
