screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
