wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize