so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
