"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
