break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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